Page updated Sunday, November 23, 2008 9:10 AM
Finding the Right to Be Fulfilled in Peace
I am working on myself today. I am working on making changes in the way I chose to do things. I tend to do things by default. Today, in this moment, I am choosing to strengthen my skills, aspirations and hopes. I am empowering myself to be more active in my choices, and I acknowledge my right to protect my dual recovery. Chemical dependency and psychiatric illness have left me feeling like a victim of circumstance. I will not tolerate the victim role any longer. I do not want to be a victim in relationships or a victim of the destructive patterns in my life. I do want to be a victim of being a member of the debating society about spirituality. Therefore, I am exiting the debating society and victim hood, and I am surrendering. I am surrendering to my needs as a human being. I am surrendering to the fact I need to tend to self-care. I am surrendering to my right to be fulfilled in peace and to be comforted by my faith in a God of my understanding. I am surrendering to my right to expression and to let others know how they affect me. I am surrendering to my right to ask for help, and I am surrendering to my right to seek help. It seems funny I would be finding myself focusing on this type of surrender in my recovery. I guess I have tried to be in denial, and I have tried to be superhuman, so to say. That sounds even funnier, because I truly know how absurd that type of thinking is. I accept humility today. I accept I absolutely do not have all the answers. I need help from others as well as from the God of my understanding. I am not afraid to ask for the help today. I am working on asking for help sooner by reaching out more often to my spiritual guides and the supporters in my life. I am in a very teachable state right now. I know I am. I am opening my mind to changes in relationships and I am opening my mind to expressing myself honestly in relationships. I have had time to consider my humanness this past month. I have had reflection time. I am grateful for being able to care for my personal needs during this time. Things generally are turning around and the chaos surrounding me is slowing down. The chaos is only there if I perceive it. If I remain at peace, I do not have to perceive chaos surrounding me. I know in my heart I have the ability to remain patient with recovery. I am in a place where patience is truly a spiritual principle. Peace be with you.